A

Airport :- Suvarnabhumi International Airport lies a few miles to the South East of the city. It opened on 28th September 2006 and took over from Don Muang, which has served the capital since air transport first started.
March 2007 sees the re-opening of Don Muang to handle local flights only.
The supposedly state of the art steel and glass structure has it's own page on my site HERE.

Abbreviations :- Why say the whole word when a shortened form will do? Thais seem to love abbreviations, from the strange VDO, for anything from a video recorder to a taped film or DVD, to loosing syllables from words, as in the common form of Motorcycle which is Moto-sigh.
In bars you'll get a Beer Sing (Singha) or a Beer High (Heineken), a pint of Old Speckled Hen is/was known as a Gai Yai (Big Chicken) sadly it seems to have dried up in 2008.
Don't forget you will need a "Driving Lie" to drive a car!

Air Conditioning :- For some reason people seem to like their air conditioning set to semi-artic levels, see staff wearing sweaters and huddled together to keep warm in Department Stores. This liking for wintry conditions also extends to staff at hotels assuming you will like it also, and setting the room thermostat far too low.
Try to set it at around 20°C for a reasonable temperature, but be warned, sleeping in a cold air conditioner draft is not so good if you want to wake up without a cold.

Aircraft Hire :- You can hire a light aircraft and pilot for a sightseeing flight over Bangkok, details HERE

After Sales Service :- A concept alien to most Thai retailers, don't expect too much and you won't be disappointed! Get your money out and buy something and you won't meet more helpful people, come back with something under your arm and see if anyone wants to talk to you! However, Emporium, Paragon, Central & Robinsons do give after sales service.

Ambulance :- As there is no welfare state in operation in Thailand, all ambulances are privately operated and will cost you money in the event of an accident etc. See Body Snatchers

Amusement Parks :- See Dream World

Aquarium :- Claimed to be the biggest aquarium in Asia, Siam Ocean World is in the basement of The Paragon in Siam Square, Bangkok.

ATM :- ATM have come a long way in recent years, in the late 80s there weren't many, now they spring up like mushrooms all over the place. Some close at 22:00, but increasingly there are more 24 hour ones. Take care when withdrawing money and try not to do it in view of anyone, remember what you are withdrawing is most people's monthly take home pay!
If your card gets "eaten", you will need to go to the right branch of the right bank with your passport, to get it back. For this reason I suggest using only ATM machines located in or outside a bank, preferably during banking hours. Newer ATMs are rapidly being installed now, and this is becoming less important.

B

There is a branch of Bangkok Bank on the outside ground floor at The Emporium that is open 10:00 - 18:00 weekdays and 11:00 - 19:00 Saturdays & Sundays.

Bank Accounts :- Yes you can have a Thai bank account, in fact as long as you have cash you can have just about anything in Thailand. I used to have an account with The Krung Thai bank which I used with an ATM card, no cheques, but interest on the balance. Passbook access.

Bar Fine :- This is the name given to the fee you are expected to pay the bar for taking a girl away with you, this is in addition to any fee for her "services".
It is possible to pay a bar fine and the girl is then obligated to wait for you, this way you have a deposit paid, and she can't go out with anyone else all night. This is not as silly as it sounds, if you find a nice girl early on, but don't want the bother of her tagging along all night, pay the bar fine, go out and have fun, then if you haven't found anything better, go back and collect her. Bar fines range from 300 Baht in an open beer bar to 1500 Baht at the weekend in Soi 33.

Barbers see Hairdressers

Bargaining :- Vendors and smaller shops expect customers to bargain, usually quoting a high price to take this into account. After a little experience you'll get the hang of it.
As a rule, with street traders and markets, offer half their first price and start there. The price may miraculously drop if you smile, give up, and walk away!

The best rule to apply is to end up paying between 50% and 75% of the first price you were given.

Department Stores and franchised shops are all fixed price. Vendors, shopkeepers, and tailors will expect you to bargain and will think you foolish if you don't make an attempt at getting a better price.

Bartendy :- This is unique to Thailand and a misspelling of an Americanism being Bartendee - A female bartender. Neither version is used in proper English though. Check (miss) uses of the word by clicking HERE

Bayoke Tower :- In the dim and distant 1980's, Baiyoke Tower was a landmark seen all over Bangkok, the tallest building in the country was a beacon to give you an idea where you were in the city.
The frantic building boom of the early 1990's almost obscured Baiyoke Tower from view, until the emergence of the new Baiyoke Tower 2, and the regaining of the "Tallest Building in Thailand" accolade.
Located near the Indra Regent Hotel (walking distance), and almost at the Pratunam clothing Market, you can go to the top of the tower, for a very modest fee, and visit the Observation Deck where you can see stunning views of the city in all directions, smog permitting. Well worth a visit!

Beggars :- There are quite a few beggars in the tourist areas, most of which are complete con-artists. I urge you to ignore all but very old and obviously destitute people with no source of income. As a guide, if you see Thai locals giving them money, then they are probably genuine.
Just to put things into perspective,  the basic wage in Bangkok is currently less than 200 Baht per day, with a good site a beggar can easily make this per hour, plus beggars have been seen being dropped off and collected in Mercedes Benz cars, and a significant number now seem to have mobile phones!
It is possible to rent babies for begging purposes, so just be aware. Being homeless in Thailand is no great hardship, as it's nice and warm and you can sleep anywhere. Remember that poverty is relative, the Burmese and Vietnamese try to enter Thailand for economic purposes!

Body Snatchers :- This is the name given to the many freelance operators of body snatching services in Bangkok, we would call this a private ambulance service in the West.
In the dim distant past, these were set up by the Chinese merchant community to provide medical care etc. for their families and employees, today, teams of young men listen to the police radio on scanners and then race each other to be first on the scene. This is a real sight to see, and you could easily mistake them for an official body, they are not. The first on the scene will have your body stuffed in the back of a pickup and deposited at a hospital where the operators will get a commission. Expect a bill from them, and don't be surprised if your watch and wallet are missing when you wake up! The Bangkok Body Snatchers were featured in a BBC documentary in May 2002. Story HERE.

Boiler Room :- This is the term given to the parasitic "Financial Advisors" who recruit otherwise honest people to run a telephone based scam, selling non-existent or worthless shares and securities.
As soon as the police shut down an operation, 3 more spring up! The official view is that it is foreigners ripping of foreigners, so why get involved.
The general rule here, as in all other aspects of life is that if it sounds too good to be true - it is. Don't get involved, you will be throwing your money away. Basically, the only reason anyone would set up any kind of financial services in Thailand is to avoid regulations. These operations are now also springing up in neighbouring Cambodia.

If you feel that you have to give your hard earned life savings away to a complete stranger, please send them to me, not only will I enjoy spending it - I'll also send you a photographic record of me enjoying it, and at the end of the day, the nett loss will be the same.

Boy Scouts :- See Scouts

Boxing :- Thai boxing is a cross between conventional western boxing and kick boxing. Muay Thai, is best experienced at Lumphini Stadium. Travel agents offer a special tourist package where you get front row seats and get to meet the star attractions after their bouts for a photo session. I have been to the boxing several times, just join in with it all and the locals make you really welcome.

See http://www.bangkokboxingstadium.com

Bribery :- See Corruption

Buses :- A good way of seeing the real Bangkok, buses are ridiculously cheap, take care of your belongings on particularly packed ones. Air conditioned or fan buses are a good way of seeing the real Bangkok. There is also a very efficient system for travelling to the provinces on an inexpensive fleet of air conditioned coaches. Check out the main bus terminals at Morchit for the North, Pattaya and all points South East from Ekamai, South (Phuket, Hat Yai etc.) from Southern Bus Terminal at the end of a 511 bendy-bus route, just over the river.

C

Cars :- The inordinate number of cars on the road is even more surprising when you consider that there is 300% import duty on all vehicles made outside the Kingdom. This is down from 600% in the late 80s!
Certain Toyota, BMW, & Mercedes models are built locally.

Cashpoint  see ATM What we know as a Cashpoint in the UK is more widely known as an ATM (Automatic Teller Machine).

Censorship :- Censorship exists in the cinema, magazines, television, newspapers, and now the Internet.
A lot of films at a recent Bangkok Film Festival were ordered not to be shown, by The Royal Thai Police, a separate police force.
TV programmes sometimes have the screen blanked out where any suggestion of sexual activity appears.
The Far East Economic Review (F.E.E.R.) was removed from sale in 2002 for nothing more than publishing, and commenting on, a speech made by His Majesty the King criticising former Prime Minister Taksin Shinawatara.
Newspapers manage not to publish many reports of the deaths of tourists, and ensure that this adverse publicity does not appear on their web sites. Pattaya Mail is the number one culprit here, in my opinion.
I admired the stance of The Bangkok Post who suffered severe censorship in the 1991 student riots, they just left great blank white spaces in the paper where the articles and photographs should have been. RESPECT!

Sadly in 2005/6 The Communications Authority of Thailand and The Ministry of Information and Communication Technology have started blocking access to some Internet sites! This is what you get when searching for something as innocuous as Proxy Servers:-

Bypassing Government Internet Censorship in Thailand, you can quite simply bypass these stupid attempts at censorship by downloading and installing a program called Jap. Jap was designed by a German university and is available for all operating systems, even Apple.
Look Here or Here.
There is also another way to circumvent Thai Government censorship, look HERE.

Chatuchack "Weekend" Market :- Sometimes also called Jatujak. Claimed to be the biggest weekend market in the world, and they may well be right, but it's actually open every day except Tuesday, with many more traders at the weekend, especially on Sundays.
The easiest way to get there is by Subway, get out at Kamphaenphet and follow the signs, make sure you don't get out at Chatuchack station!
Nancy Chandler includes a Chatuchack guide with her map and here is a plan.

Chess :- If chess is your thing check out the Bangkok Chess Club, meeting places are now The Bull's Head, Sukhumvit Soi 33/1 & Admiral's Sukhumvit Soi 18, maps on the club website.

Cigarettes :- On 9th October 1990, Thailand lifted its ban on the import of foreign cigarette brands. Now, most well known international brands are widely available. In 2006, it was made illegal to display cigarettes for sale.
In places like Phuket, Pattaya, Koh Samui, and anywhere near the border, smuggled cigarettes are sold around the bars by vendors who have the packets concealed on their person.

Cinema :- Bangkok has excellent cinemas and even Imax 3D theatres, check the papers for the locations and current offerings.
The Emporium and Siam Discovery Centre are convenient locations as both can be reached by the BTS Skytrain. The very latest films are shown, sometimes 6 months before the UK release date.
Films are shown with the normal soundtrack and subtitled into Thai, so there is no reason not to enjoy the relatively high standard of cinema for a mere 100-200 Baht.
Don't forget to stand up to pay respect to the king or be arrested!

Find out what is showing now HERE

Class Structure :- Thailand is a very class conscious society, where wealth or standing is demonstrated by material things or "big face".
Gold jewellery being common, but the most popular show of wealth/social standing is an expensive car, then a gold Rolex watch, with a house coming well down the list.
Thailand is the second largest market for Mercedes Benz outside Germany, with cars being assembled locally in Rayong. See also Skin Colour.

Condoms :- Don't try to use the Thai ones, they are too small! (and I am NOT boasting) European sized Durex are available from all good pharmacies, especially Boots.
The brand to avoid is Kingtex, unless you are inadequate in the "wedding tackle" department!

Condominium  See Property

Consumer Rights :- These may exist, but when buying anything make sure it is perfect and complete as any problems are difficult to deal with. Credit card slips are pre-printed with "No Refund".
Top department stores like Paragon, Central & Emporium offer a refund service, but expect a long winded bunch of paperwork!

Copies :- If there is one thing the Thais can do well, it's copy things, check out the street markets around China Town for all manner of copies of everything. Pansonic (sic) radios, various qualities of copied designer watches and copyright infringed clothes and football kit. (To be fair though, some are actually genuine goods that have left the local manufacturer through the back door, usually clothes or trainers.)

Corruption :- The vast majority of government officials are guilty of some kind of corruption, bribery is a way of life, particularly with customs and taxation. Government ministers give jobs to their friends and award contracts to businesses they or their family own. Even the police are not above taking a few "donations". Most fines are negotiable and probably destined for the officer's back pocket anyway. To get a job as a police officer in a tourist destination like Pattaya, you have to bribe a lot of people. Being a policeman is a low paid job, but in Pattaya look for gold Rolex watches, and officers driving home in Mercedes Benz cars, representing many years, or even more than an entire lifetime's income!
These genuine press cuttings sum up the situation:-

Genuine stories - you can't make this stuff up!

And it doesn't stop there, September 2002 it was reported in The Bangkok Post that several state-run zoos are missing hundreds of birds and at least one antelope and a giraffe! And - an army general used to have an antique steam train and track in his garden, stolen from The State Railway, or so it was reported in the press.

All real and 100% genuine. How about the former Thai ambassador to The Netherlands who sold Thai Embassy in The Haig for 3.1 Million Guilders in 1999, without any authorisation!!

Coup d'état :- Every 15 years or so there seems to be a coup d'état, which is unusually violence free, the one on 19th September 2006 was carried in in an almost carnival atmosphere.
The government of controversial "caretaker" Prime Minister Taksin Shinawatara, and his own Thai Rak Thai party, was ousted whilst he, and his deputy Prime Minister were out of the country.

Quote from the Bangkok Post (above) "Like most of the previous 19 military coups since 1932, there was no violence."

Cowboy :- See Soi Cowboy.

Crackdown :- Watch the local press for the latest "crackdown", everything from illegal onions to smuggling! Current crackdown is on bar and club closing times and alcohol sales in convenience stores! Currently 8000+ articles on Google covering crackdowns in Bangkok HERE.

Credit Cards :- Visa and MasterCard are widely accepted in larger establishments and most restaurants. American Express is also popular with some outlets offering a discount for charging to your card. Expect to pay a surcharge for using a credit card anywhere other than a department store or restaurant. 3% seems to be the going rate.

Crocodiles :- Only seen in Bangkok when a crocodile farm floods and they get into the sewers. You have as much chance of seeing one in the city as you do of having a Jumbo Jet crash into your house because you left the landing light on! If you want to see some in captivity try the Dusit Zoo, or Samut Prakan Crocodile Farm. Samut Prakan is at the outward end of a 511 Aircon bendy-bus, or a number 6 Micro Bus (South).
In 1999, flooding allowed hundreds of crocodiles to swim to freedom via the enormous storm drain system. Several ended up in the city and a bounty of several thousand Baht was offered for each one caught, dead or alive!

Cycling :- Some deranged individuals decide this is a good idea in Bangkok, if you are one of them you can use the pavements, or take your bike with you on a bus or the Skytrain.
Join an organised cycling trip around the greener parts of Bangkok, yes there are lots of them > HERE

Customs :- Don't expect any problems taking goods into Thailand. If you have something unusual, it is a good idea to show it to an officer in the red channel and tell him you are taking it home to your country. This has worked for me on many occasions coming back from shopping trips to Hong Kong and Singapore with computers, DVD players, cameras etc. Remember to smile, and thank them profusely when you are ushered through.
The customs declaration form stopped being issued in late 2004, so now there is no paperwork to fill in other than the immigration "TM" form.

Still law, but not enforced, is the rule that you cannot bring in personal possessions over the value of 10,000! A decent suitcase and a pair of shoes should put you well over this stupid limit!, what about a camera or a computer?

100% true, picture from July 2005, never seen this applied, so don't worry.

This sign is no longer displayed in the new airport.

D

Dentists :- A lot of people travel to Thailand for bargain dental treatment. I have no personal experience to relate, but here is a starting point:-
www.dentalhospitalbangkok.com

Departure Tax :- This is the tax charged for use of the airport, it used to be 500 Baht International and 100 Baht Domestic, and you had to pay it before going to immigration. As from February 2007 this is now included in your ticket price.

Diarrhoea :- (Bangkok Belly) This can be a problem for a new visitor, not only an uncomfortable condition, in this hot country it can be dangerous because of the associated dehydration. Cure it with a small tablet called LOMOTIL from any pharmacy, it works better than a cork! If it persists, do not wait for it to go away, see a doctor, they are cheap, no waiting usually and every time I have been with various ailments, the treatment has always worked 100%. If only the NHS could be so efficient!
Untreated diarrhoea in tropical counties can be serious due to general the loss of body fluids. If you suffer from this in the slightest, drink large quantities of water, at least a litre per day, otherwise you will feel very tired and ill, and may end up needing a dextrose/saline drip.

Digital Photography :- See Photography

Dogs :- The "Soi" dogs that roam about are very docile, just take no notice, don't look them in the eye, and they'll leave you alone.
If you get bitten, seek medical treatment immediately, they are usually disease carriers, on no account touch any of them, not even with the end of your boot!

Dominoes :- A game for old people in the west, but in Thailand this is a game for gambling. Look for a set of Thai dominoes in a department store stationery department, they go up to double 9!

Double Pricing :- This is something I find really annoying, entrance to some attractions is priced at 20 Baht for Thais and 200 Baht for falangs. Also expect to be overcharged on ferries, and some buses. In general this is an annoyance, but not worth causing a fuss over especially if you look at it as giving the low paid locals a discount.
(If you go to Disney World or Disneyland, you will see that the residents of Florida and California get special reduced prices, so it is done in the West as well)

Dream World :- Western style amusement park North beyond the old Don Muang airport. Opened in 1994 on a 70 acre site. Arcade games, roller-coaster, Snowland, go-carting, etc.
Admission fees are refunded if it rains for more than two hours. Admission: 450 Baht per person. Children below 90 centimetres free. Opens at 10:00.
(I have yet to witness any rain storm that lasts for 2 hours, if there was such a thing, Bangkok would be under 30 feet of water!)

Driving :- Driving anywhere in Thailand, especially Bangkok is a special skill that needs quite a lot of getting used to. Officially, you drive on the left as in England, Japan, HK, Australia etc., but in practice be prepared for anything. Overtaking on both sides means turning left is an issue as you need to look out for motorcycles coming past on the inside.
The biggest problem is when (not if) you have an accident, even if you are stopped and someone runs into the back of your car, it will be your fault. The reasoning here is that if you were not in Thailand, the accident would not have happened, plus the fact that as a foreigner, you can afford to pay and the Thai national driver cannot.
Insurance is a new feature introduced in the early 1990s! You need to have a "Get Out Of Jail Free" card from an insurance company on you, this carries a list of representatives in all provinces, and their telephone numbers who will confirm with police that you are insured and that the claim will be met. If you don't have one of these, you are likely to spend some time in jail in the local police station until you and the injured party or their representative have reached an agreed monetary settlement.

Outside Bangkok expect to pay a bribe to the police as well! In any situation like this, it's best to call The Tourist Police, who will help matters considerably, and negotiate on your behalf.

Drugs :- Don't even think about it! If you try to buy drugs, the chances are the dealer is in league with the local police who will pick you up right after the transaction.
You will loose your "stash", get thrown in a cage not fit for a dead lion and have to share it with 7 female impersonators, a couple of big Nigerians and a few Albinos of indeterminate origin as well as a bunch of cut-throat Thais. If you survive that, you can then negotiate the price for your release. Think of a number, double it, add a few 000s on the end and make it cash before lunchtime! Please don't get involved, you can't win.

In Pattaya (and presumably elsewhere) there is a scam where you get approached in the street, and offered various drugs. If you buy any, take a few steps further and get arrested by uniformed police. You get searched, the drugs get confiscated and passed back to the vendor, and you end up in jail trying to do a cash deal for freedom. I would imagine the vendor is an off-duty policeman.

Dual Pricing see Double Pricing

DVD :- The VCD was king until the dawning of the 21st century, now the pirate copiers have turned their attention to DVDs and managed to come up with a uniquely Thai concept. Somehow they have managed to get poor quality copies onto DVD instead of simply buying a genuine one and copying it.
Many of the DVDs for sale have copies on them only about as good as a video tape at best. I have several that have been actually filmed on video by the projectionist in the cinema - how do I know this?, because you can see people stand up at the end and walk out in silhouette on the screen! Simply unbelievable anywhere else I would imagine.
For 100% quality look for DVD 9 or DVD 10, these will be digital copies of the originals, some even have 2 films and as many as 6, on one DVD now. The going rate is around 200 Baht per disk for both versions.
2005 - These poor copies are almost completely replaced by proper copies now, make sure you specify DVD 9 and not DVD 5..

E

Plugs, these are the various ones you'll find in Thailand

The lead on the right has an earth pin that people usually bend and break off to allow it to fit in a normal socket.

The adaptor is on sale everywhere for less than 100 Baht, and will accommodate almost all world plugs including the big clunky square pin UK ones!

Elections :- There always seems to be someone standing for some kind of official office, expect a ban on alcohol sales on voting days. However, restaurants are free from this ban, Tenderloins in Sukhumvit Soi 33 is classed as a restaurant, and has a bar and is open on no alcohol days. Soi 33

Elephants :- Yes, there are elephants in Bangkok. Poor mahouts from Surin make the unhappy beasts walk all the way to the city and try and get tourists to pay 20 Baht for a few bananas to feed to the animal. Officially they are banned from the city, but expect to see them around Sukhumvit Road and possibly in Soi Cowboy. After seeing Western dog owners scooping up their dog's turds in parks, wait until you see what these mahouts have to contend with - and they do scoop it up!

Elite Card :- A daft idea thought up by the Taksin government to sell membership cards to well heeled tourists. Incentives are/were discounted use of Spas and golf clubs etc. Many other dubious benefits were offered along with priority immigration and fast tracking through the airport (presumably bypassing customs!), however I have yet to see anyone on the desk! Cost?, a cool 1 MILLION BAHT for each member.
The projected membership was several thousand per year, after 3 years a staggering 303 lucky people joined, just how many of those are friends of high ranking officials I wonder........... 6 of the 11 directors of the controlling company resigned in 2004 making board meetings impossible.

Escalator Shuffle :- Follow a Thai onto an escalator and nine times out of ten they will wait before getting on, looking at the steps as they go past, usually 3 is enough.
This happens all over Thailand and I can't count the number of times I have bumped into people who get to the start of the escalator and just stop dead.

You also have to put up with another local variation, this is when they either reach the top or bottom, they get off and stop dead, probably trying to remember why they went up or down. This blocks the escalator exit and there is little you can do but bump into them. I have no idea what this is all about, it certainly doesn't happen anywhere else that I have visited in Asia.

Escorts :- There are several advertised in the classified sections of newspapers and tourist magazines. I have zero experience as there is no real need to pay over the odds for female companions in Bangkok. I would be interested in hearing anyone's experiences. Example of escort service HERE, HERE and HERE
There are a few on my links page, rest assured that whilst I have not personally tested any of them, the slightest complaint will get them removed.

Exhibitions :- There are 3 main venues for exhibitions........

Queen Sirikit National Convention Centre WEBSITE
Right in the centre of the city, this is the home of trade shows, concerts and exhibitions.

Impact Arena / Muang Thong Thani  WEBSITE
Purpose built for the Asian Games, this massive venue, that still includes the athlete's village, is now the home to all kinds of events from concerts to export product fairs. The website gives detailed maps, basically it is located West of the airport quite a way outside the main city area.

BITEC (Bangkok International Trade Exhibition Centre) WEBSITE
This large modern building is located at the start of the Bangna - Trat highway, when there is an event taking place, free shuttle buses are available from On Nut BTS Skytrain station.

Exports :- I often get asked about the supply of goods from Thailand - here is a good place to start The Department Of Export Promotion

F

Fake Goods :- This is a significant problem, I have been told that more Johnny Walker whisky is sold in Thailand each year than is actually produced in Scotland.

At least with fake designer goods etc, no one selling it will ever pretend it is anything but a copy.

Fake IDs :- If this is of interest to you, make your way to Khao San Road and look for the vendors offering quite convincing laminated ID cards. Pretend to be a UN Ambassador of a CNN news reporter, or even get a university degree!

Feet :- Your feet are considered to be dirty and as the lowest part of your body, opposite to the reverence given to your head. Do not put your feet up on tables and when seated ensure that your foot is not pointing at anyone, if it is, it means you are showing them contempt. To show the sole of your foot is considered extremely impolite.

Festivals :- It seems as if a week doesn't go by without some kind of festival, add to this the commemoration of birthdays of former Kings, The Princess Mother, Buddha's bath night etc. and there isn't a month without some kind of celebration taking place. Even totally alien festivals such as Christmas, Western New Year, Chinese New Year, American Independence Day, and for reasons best known to themselves, Valentine's Day, are celebrated.  Thai religious festivals mean no alcohol for sale. See Songkran & Loy Khrathong.

Film Extras :- There always seem to be vacancies for small parts in either Thai films or TV, and sometimes international films. I have been stopped several times and asked if I want to be a film extra. Several of my friends have appeared in films, and the former manager of The Bull's Head pub has been seen in an advert at the cinema.
The pay is quite low though, but it can be interesting. Some information here Casting In Thailand.

Fish & Chips :- Offshore Bar in Sukhumvit 23 is the place to go for authentic fish & chips. Red snapper & chips, or cod at extra cost.
Established for over 20 years, you can get everything you would normally expect, including snake & pygmy pies etc.
Not expensive, why not have your meal served at the bar with a cold beer. Whatever else I could say about the Offshore, I have to admit that they always have really cold beer. Genuine, authentic miserable British landlord!

Flashlight Market :- Saturdays, Worachak Road area.
An interesting place to visit for bargains. People from upcountry come to Bangkok in their pick-up trucks to sell all kinds of strange goods, mostly second-hand. Find vintage radios, concrete block sized mobile phones etc. amongst all manner of hardware, clothing, CDs and just about anything you can think of.
Although it officially starts at about 4 pm, the real selling is carried out up until 06:00 the following morning. Called the Flashlight Market (Talad Fai Chai in Thai) because you really need your own lighting to check out the goods, but don't worry you can buy a torch there!

Floating Market :- The best way to see this is by an organised trip, but make sure they take you to Damnoen Saduak some 80Km West of Bangkok, you'll also have to get up early as it is all over by about 10:00am.
There is another floating market that is fabricated purely for tourists. (Not my thing, in 20+ years I have survived without seeing either!)

Floods :- September until October is the height of the rainy season in Bangkok. Serious rainstorms of only 20 minutes or so are enough to overwhelm the massive storm drains as most of the city is only a few metres above sea level. By no means a yearly event, but I have witnessed floodwater several feet deep in Sukhumvit Road, although an hour or so after the rain stops it has usually dried up again. These pictures were taken in 2002 and show only very mild flooding. I have been out with water waist high!

Food :- Thailand is famous for food and Bangkok has all types from almost every country in the world. I have a few recommendations on my pages, but usually you will not be disappointed, especially when you get the bill!

Food Courts :- Food Courts are popular throughout Asia, find them in shopping centres and department stores. Here you can sample the same Thai food as enjoyed by the locals for bargain prices. Buy a set of coupons, exchange these for various dishes, find a seat and try the new tastes. Any spare coupons are exchanged for cash at the refund booth, provided they are presented the same day. The cleanest and best food court I have seen in Bangkok is on the 5th floor of The Emporium, but don't mistake the restaurant area for it, you'll find the food court with windows overlooking Queen's Park and the city.
The ground floor at The Paragon also has a vast selection of food of all descriptions.

Football :- Thais love English football, the UK matches are shown on local TV and you will see Manchester United or Liverpool stickers on taxi, cars, and motorbikes. Keep up to date with all matches on local Thai TV as well as UBC cable/satellite, probably more UK football than on UK TV!

Fortune Tellers :- I was absolutely amazed when a wandering Thai fortune teller was able to make a fair approximation of the shape of the front of my house in the sand a few years ago, but as with all variations of this theme, it's just another way to make money.
You often see Thai fortune tellers in shopping malls, or rather "Palmists", harmless rubbish really.
The ones to be wary of are the Indian fortune tellers with turbans on, a right bunch of pests. As they all speak good English, get rid of them by saying something to the effect of "If you were any good at telling fortunes, you'd know I don't want my fortune told", apart from working, it usually gets a laugh from anyone in earshot!

Fruit :- Thailand has some interesting fruits available, buy from street vendors or supermarkets and try the strange new tastes. Jackfruit (ka-noon) is good as are all the forms of lychees some with hard skins and some with spiky red skins called GNOR (try saying ingor without the "i"). Durian is a big prickly thing that smells a bit strange, it's not to everyone's taste, but try the large, soft yellow flesh that surrounds the brown seed, ignore the smell and you'll see why they fetch high prices in street auctions in Singapore, and are rightly called "the king of fruits".

G

Gents see Toilets

Ghost Buildings :- The name given to the hundreds of abandoned building projects in the wake of the 1997 economic crisis (320 is the government estimate in March 2002). All over the city you will see these partially completed buildings, but an economic upturn in 2004/5 has seen many of these abandoned projects being re-started, although many "Ghost Buildings" remain well into 2006.

Glasses see Opticians

Go Karts :- Indoor go-kart racing is to be found in Royal City Avenue (RCA).

Golf :- If you like spoiling a good walk by carrying a bag of golfing bats and knocking a small knobbly ball into a few rodent's holes, then Thailand is the place for you.
Over 200 of the world's best golf courses are yours without membership, for a bargain price, and with the best female caddies in the business. Failing that, prime land is set aside in Bangkok for driving ranges. Thailand is a Golf enthusiast's haven.
Golf bats & equipment are available at most department stores and some specialist shops, usually at keen prices especially when there is a sale on. Check out Thaniya Plaza in Soi Thaniya, this shopping centre is 90% golf. Find it at Sala Daeng Skytrain Station, look for O'Reilly's Irish Pub, that's the corner of Thaniya and Silom. Thaniya Plaza is about ¼ of the way up on the left-hand side (from Silom). If you buy a set of clubs, fear not, airlines DO NOT include them in your baggage allowance.

Gold :- (say Tong in Thai) Thais use gold as a type of investment, buying it as a show of wealth when they are "in the money", and selling it when they need the cash. From the gold shops in China Town you can buy an amazing array of gold items all in 99.99% 24 carat gold. The buy and sell price will be chalked up on a board with no extra added for workmanship. Not really worth buying as it's orange colour is not usually accepted as gold in the West. The only bargains I have ever seen are the Canadian, Australian, and South African gold coins, but then you need a market for them back home and you need to get them past customs. In the UK expect the authorities to impose a 17.5% surcharge for VAT, and possibly import duty as well!

Government :- The Thais claim their system of "democracy" is modelled on the UK's system of government, but as far as I can see, the only similarities are the parliamentary assembly where the MPs sit and criticize each other!.
Members of Parliament are elected from local provinces and are supposed to represent their constituents, but in reality they seem to use their office for personal financial gain. To even get elected requires vast amounts of money in bribes etc.
The treasury have to print extra banknotes during election campaigning!

The claimed "democracy" is a bit of a stretch of the imagination, as you need a university degree to stand for parliament, hardly democratic. The political parties, such as they are, don't seem to stand for anything, or represent any particular part of society. Elected MPs will change parties after election and go with the majority, this is so common that a law was brought in to prevent MPs from changing parties until 90 days after an election.
See Corruption above.

Government Agencies :-
A good resource for information on government agencies etc. HERE
 

Gratuities :- see Tips

Grand Palace :-  The temple complex that contains The Grand Palace and Temple Of The Golden Budha (Wat Phra Kheow). This is possibly the best place to visit in Bangkok, a spectacular building and compound containing gold leaf covered statues and ornate buildings amongst meticulously tended gardens.
Best to go on an organised visit for 2 reasons, 1 you will see infinitely more with a guide, 2 go on your own and you stand a good chance of being victim of a scam that has been going on for over 20 years. As you arrive, an official will approach you and say that the Temple & Place is closed for a religious festival, and try and get you to go in a Tuk Tuk to another temple. If you agree, you end up being delivered to gem shops where the chances of becoming the victim of a scam are about 110%.

Guests :- If you are single (actually some couples seem to as well), you may want to take a "friend" back to your hotel. Most hotels will charge you for the privilege varying from 500 Baht to as much as 1500 Baht depending on how grand they feel their establishments are. It's no good arguing and telling them you have paid single supplement etc., you won't win.
Many people have tried to smuggle a girl in without paying, but eagle eyed security guards and staff will spot you. There are a few successful ways though, but they require an intelligent "friend" so that rules most of them out. My own method, used in the 1980s, was to take the girl back and sit in the hotel bar for a drink, you leave and get your key, go and unlock the room, leaving the door open, and return to the bar. Now the difficult bit - give the girl your room number, and send her to the ladies toilet telling her to go to your room after. You then finish your drink and pay the bill, hopefully when you get to the room, your friend will be there happily consuming the contents of the mini bar with Thai TV on at maximum volume. The only disadvantage of this is that the cost of 2 drinks at the hotel bar, and whatever gets drunk or eaten from the mini bar far outweighs the fee the hotel would have charged you in the first place! You just can't win.

H

Head :- As your head is the highest part of the body, it is considered impolite to touch another person there, remember that with children. See FEET.

Hit & Run :- More likely than not, if you are involved in a road accident, the driver will adopt a uniquely Thai trait, and run away, always assuming he is not too injured. Otherwise he becomes responsible for hospital charges and loss of earnings etc. Read The Nation or Bangkok Post and see the last sentence of reports of such matters are always "The driver fled the scene".

Horn :- The most important piece of equipment on any vehicle in Thailand, more so than brakes, lights and steering. Look out for horn blowing as vehicles pass some temples and roadside spirit houses. It is supposed to bring good luck.

Hospitals :- These are predominantly private, some come highly recommended with people travelling from other countries for cut price private treatment. A friend of mine had a lung removed at Bangkok General and survives to tell the tale!

I

Immigration (Airport) :- The long queues are a thing of the past, but still be prepared for a wait of 20 minutes or so, before you are processed. Try not to stand behind any Nigerians or similar, or any dubious looking ethnic minorities, as these types are given special scrutiny and will slow the queue down.

Immigration Department :- Formerly known as The Department of Intimidation, the Immigration Department have changed their attitude in recent years, and now provide a fast and efficient service, although the various forms you have to fill in are still a bit strange.
Major cities and tourist areas have Immigration Department offices where visas can be extended. There are usually several helpful people around outside who will make the necessary photocopies of your passport and take your photograph for you, for a few Baht. These people usually have a deal going with Immigration, and it is best to use their services.
You can arrive with photocopies and photographs from elsewhere, but they may be rejected on size and quality if they were not done by the "franchised" agents based opposite the immigration building. (An "unofficial" arrangement). Fill the form in, without alterations, and sign each photocopy. Stick your photograph to the form with the glue provided. The current fee (2004) is 1900 Baht for a visa extension.
The main Immigration Department in Bangkok is located at:-

Immigration Bureau
Sathon Soi 3 (Soi Suan Plu)
South Sathorn Road
Bangkok

Any taxi driver will be able to take you to "IMMIGRATION". Expect the process to take about an hour. They no longer close for lunch.
It is walking distance from Silom Road and Sala Daeng BTS station, Sathorn Road runs parallel to Silom, but if you don't know exactly where it is, take a 40 baht taxi ride.
Being caught with no visa, or an expired one (overstay) is viewed as a serious offence. I know people who have been arrested, thrown in jail for about a week, taken to a court hearing with no translation, then deported at their own expense plus they got a bill for the police car to the airport! See Resident's Visa

Inactive post :- A curious thing indeed, and as far as I know, unique to Thailand.
If a government minister, or important state employee makes a complete "dog's breakfast" of his job, or is caught with his hands in the till etc. he is moved to an inactive post.
In any other country, the sack and disciplinary or legal action would follow, in Thailand though, you get moved to an inactive post. You keep your job and salary, and just don't need to go into work any more. A great incentive to do a proper job!

An example from 2006:- A Thai Airways executive was moved to an inactive post following the luggage service mess at Suvarnabhumi airport on its first day of commercial operation.

Inoculations :- Ask any doctor and he'll advise all kinds of shots for a visit to Thailand, in practice though, I don't know anyone who bothers, and no one has fallen ill with anything more sinister than alcohol related injuries or various kinds of Asian 'flu, apart from the unavoidable odd bout of "Bangkok Belly" otherwise known as a nasty case of the squirts. See Diarrhoea

Investments :- It is a sad reflection upon our fellow countrymen that many set up businesses here selling all kinds of investment opportunities with the sole intention of "stitching up" unsuspecting tourists and expatriates. Don't do it, you have been warned.
In recent years, Bangkok has been a regional centre for what is described as "boiler room" activities, the hard sell by telephone of non-existent of bogus shares.
If you feel you must give your life savings to a complete stranger, in a foreign country, without the benefit of The Financial Services Office - I will be pleased to supply you with my bank account number for a transfer. I can also send a photographic record of me enjoying it, which is far more than you will get with any of the rip-off artists!

J

Jim Thompson :- An American, Jim Thompson is credited with the revival of the Thai silk trade. See Thompson Jim.

Jobs :- A lot of people think it would be nice to stay and work in Thailand, in practice it is very difficult to do legally. There are legions of English teachers working without work permits, on what is a fair salary for Thais, but slave labour wages for a westerner. Proper jobs with established multinational companies are few and far between and never advertised in Thailand, but anyone lucky enough to get one will enjoy a high salary, apartment or house possibly with staff, and maybe even a car and driver.
Anyone found working without a Work Permit is arrested, detained in jail before a court hearing, and then deported at their own expense.

K

Katoeys can be dangerous, they are renowned pick-pockets on the street in tourist areas late at night, especially if you are drunk, and there are several cases of unsuspecting "clients" being murdered for their wallets etc. Tactics also include drugging your drink if you are silly enough to take one back to the hotel (don't expect the staff to warn you). With very little skill, you can pick them out and avoid any problems.

It seems there is a new collective noun for a group of katoeys:-

If you think you could spot a "man in a dress" look HERE! (doesn't work in Thailand due to censorship)

See Cabaret Shows

Koh Khet :- Koh is the Thai name for island (Koh Samui for example). Koh Khet is an island in the Chao Phraya river to the North of central Bangkok. It is easily visited by Express River Boat. Lots of good photo oportunities around the island which produces mainly pottery, also visit the temple, Wat Poramai.

L

Lady Drink :- "Buy me some dink?" The aim of every bar girl, whatever type of bar you are in, is to get you to buy them a "lady drink".

This is usually an orange juice, coke or a red or green Fanta, that you pay full price for, the girl gets something like 30-40 Baht out of it, in return you get the, sometimes dubious, "benefit" of her company until it's time to go dancing again If you buy her an alcoholic drink, it is usually much more expensive. In some of the hostess bars of Soi 33, a lady drink entitles you to a maximum of 45 minutes with the girl, per drink. The bill for the lady drink will arrive with a ticket similar to the one pictured, the girl keeps that and exchanges it for money at the end of the night, or earlier if she is "bought out". You can sometimes see the girls with several of these tickets pinned to their boots etc.

Lifts :- It seems an alien concept to most Thais to allow you to get out, before they barge in, they don't seem too bothered which way the lift is going either!
In The Emporium, go up to the cinema on the 6th floor and loads of people with shopping trolleys get in on the 5th floor to go up with you, and then you are blocked in and can't get out!
This might be another aspect of not losing "face" by waiting for the lift to come back down again.

Also, Thailand is the only place I have ever been to where I have been waiting at the top floor of a building when a lift arrives, completely full, AND NO ONE GETS OUT!

Litter :- In popular tourist areas look out for the "Litter Police", they prey predominantly upon tourists, trying to slap a 2000 Baht fine on you for dropping a cigarette end or spitting.
Both things that you shouldn't be doing anyway. Friendly, smiling negotiation can usually get this down to 200-300 Baht, but it's better to use a litter bin.
If you encounter any of these people, deal with the situation with a smile and good nature, otherwise it'll cost you more, and you cannot win.

Little Ginza :- The name often used to describe Soi Thaniya, an area full of Japanese only bars between Suriwong and Silom roads, parallel to Patpong 1 & 2. BUT also the location of British Bar, The Barbican.

Lottery :- Every 2 weeks or so (twice a month) there is a state run lottery. The pre-numbered tickets are sold by street vendors, usually elderly, blind or disabled. The tickets come as a duplicate pair a with a face value of 40 Baht each, 80 Baht the pair, although you have to pay at least 45 Baht each for them. Not usually sold singly.
3 Million Baht top prize, 6 million for the pair, with smaller prizes for other number combinations down to the last 3 and last 2 numbers. Look for the winning numbers in newspapers and poorly printed results sheets sold by children in the street within minutes of the draw.
If you want to check the latest winning numbers CLICK HERE to visit the Thai State Lottery website. It's mostly in Thai, but you can easily work it out.
Although not proven, the number of high ranking government officials always assuring people that the lottery is not corrupt, must mean something!

There is also an illegal "underground" lottery based on the same draw numbers, but how it works I do not know, and how you go about getting your money if you win, well your guess is as good as mine!

Loy Khrathong :- A significant Thai festival celebrated all over Thailand and other countries with Thai communities, usually in November depending on the new moon. Small floating "offerings" with lighted candles are floated out over any suitable body of water, after sunset. Traditional floating offerings are made from natural things such as leaves with bees wax candles, but increasingly these days the dreaded polystyrene is becoming popular. Krathong is Thai for basket.
The official version:- A Thai tradition inherited from the period of King Ram Khum Hang's, the great king of the Sukhothai Empire. It is held on the full moon day of the 12th month (November) to ask for pardon from Phra Mae Kong Kha, the Goddess of the river.

M

Mamasan :- The woman, usually an "old dragon", in charge of the girls in any beer bar, go-go or hostess bar. Basically, if you have any questions or any problems, she is the one to see. Usually an ex bargirl who is past the "sell by" date, but they are usually quite happy and friendly and more often than not, fat!
Buy her a drink, and you'll be offered all the best girls.

Maps :- There are lots of maps available, some out of date and some almost up to date. For the best all round guide to everything in Bangkok, you can't do better than Nancy Chandler's colourful map. A bargain price and more than enough to keep you busy every day for over 6 weeks! It comes with a small booklet listing the locations of many things you would not normally find.
Sadly not available on Amazon, but well worth the wait to buy in any decent bookshop in Bangkok.

Market :- (Ta-lad in Thai) There are dozens of markets around Bangkok some specialising in specific products such as Buddha amulets, or textiles. The most well known and most often visited is Chatuchak which is located staggering distance from Mo Chit BTS Skytrain station, and now also on the MRTA Subway.

Medical :- See also Inoculations  It is advisable to make some provision for medical expenses as any ailment will cost you money as there is no Thai state run health service in the accepted fashion. A standard holiday insurance will cover you for a month or so, but if you are on an extended trip it is worth reading the small print to find out how long the cover is valid for per trip. The procedure is usually that you pay the bill yourself and claim the refund when you arrive home.

Massage :- 2 basic types, Traditional Thai Massage & Massage Parlour Massage, and now Foot Massage is getting very popular. I have only experienced 2 of the 3 varieties on offer.

Traditional Thai Massage is where a trained (hopefully) masseuse will bend and manipulate your body with attention to pressure points etc. Usual session is 2 hours but if I go I always opt for 1 hour. Come out feeling like you just had a disagreement with Mike Tyson, but 30 mins. later you feel great!
"Massage Parlour" Massage is where you go into the establishment and select your numbered girl or girls from behind a large shop window display. You get taken to your private room where you both get naked and you are bathed and showered by your companion (or companions). She will then get a large airbed on the tiled floor and cover it with soap suds before massaging you with her naked body. After this, any "extras" can be negotiated unless you picked a "Superstar" girl, where that sort of thing is included in the price. This type of massage parlour is found along Petcharburi Road, examples are:-
Velanda, Atami, Chao Phraya, Darling, and Mona Lisa (claims to be the largest in the world but Happy World on the Chon Buri - Pattaya road is pretty big!) amongst others.
If you want to experience a Thai Massage Parlour without getting ripped off, WALK to Annie's Massage, which you will find if you walk down Sukhumvit Soi 2, past the J.W. Marriot Hotel, on the same side of the street. Friendly service and no reported rip offs, please tip your girl about 200 Baht.

Menus :- Some great example of "Tinglish" [Thai/English] to be seen, just hope that the English translation is for the correct dish, it is 99% of the time. Some restaurants resort to photographs of the dishes, a sensible idea. At The Brew Pavilion try the Horseface Loach Fish at your own peril, as none of my Thai friends know what it is either, menu sample below:-

More examples HERE

Minimum Wage :- Yes, there is a minimum wage, but it's widely ignored. In Bangkok it varies, but it is well below 200 Baht per day for a 12 hour shift, in the provinces it is far less. (Remember, with street food you can eat out for about 20 Baht.)

Mobile Phones :- See Telephones

Money :- This is covered on my page HERE

Moon Cakes  see http://www.mooncake.com and no, Wee Jon Wood, they are not pork pies!

Mosquitoes :- Not really a problem in the city, and even less so if you shower regularly. If you do have a problem or if you want to be prepared, buy Sketolene or Johnson's OFF! from any decent shop or pharmacy in Thailand, don't waste your time bring anything with you. When choosing a hotel room, try to get above the 4th floor as mosquitoes cannot fly that high.

Motorcycle Taxis :- Rather you than me squire! If you must though, agree a price first to avoid any arguments. Expect to pay about 20 Baht.

Movies :- See CINEMA

Muay Thai :- See Boxing

N

Nana Plaza :- A somewhat scruffy 3 storey block of bars and clubs in Sukhumvit Soi 4 opposite the Nana Hotel. This used to be a low price alternative to Patpong, but recent profiteering has seen drink prices rise significantly, although this hasn't affected it's popularity too much. For - Lot's of choice, safe, no known rip-offs or scams. Against - A bit expensive, too dirty and badly maintained. A couple of reports of light fingered staff in mid 2005.
Nana Skytrain station.

Warning Casanova bar on the first floor, Obsession on the ground floor, and now Cascade on the third floor have NO female staff whatsoever - despite what you may think! See Katoeys

Newspapers :- The two main English Language newspapers are The Bangkok Post and The Nation. Both are long established and well written, albeit mostly in "American" English unfortunately. They are widely available, the Bangkok Post is the most popular. Both papers have comprehensive advertising sections which are a good source of information on accommodation, tours, air tickets, events and promotions at restaurants etc.

Nigerians :- The CIA website suggests that any Nigerian you encounter outside Nigeria is up to no good as he would be unable to earn enough for an air fare by legitimate means. The Immigration Department are cracking down on them slightly and making it more difficult for them to enter the country.
Don't have anything to do with them as they are renowned for all manner of scams and tricks, barely a week goes by without some loony buying a briefcase full of black paper that is supposed to be $100 bills when sprayed with "special fluid". People this stupid probably deserve all they get! (Include Sierra Leone in this as well)

I have had a few unpleasant emails from people claiming to be Nigerians, saying I am being unfair, maybe I am but read this lot before you make any decision HERE.

Night Bazaar :- (Suan Lum) I stayed away from this on the misunderstanding that it was a horrible tourist trap, whilst it is specifically for tourists, everything is sensibly priced. There are loads of restaurants and bars, some serving real brewed beer from Tawan Daeng brew house. A large open arena area has live acts on every night, and you can sit and eat and drink in the food court area.
This attracts a lot of locals, so the price must be right, in fact everything I saw seemed to be on sale at keen prices, much cheaper than street vendors etc.
One advantage of this place is that it is quite roomy and not crowded like Chatuchak Market, so it makes a viable alternative for those gifts to take home. You can have a good night out here for very little expense.
Well worth a visit.
Visit Nancy Chandlers website for a detailed map, in her own inimitable style, HERE.

Noise :- Thais are incapable of doing anything without making a noise, whether it be working or playing, there is always some racket going on, what is surprising to me is that no one ever seems to care.
Go into any department store's TV department and all the TVs and stereos will be on flat out, plus some clown may be playing an electric organ as well!  Ambient noise levels are also high outside in the street due to traffic and particularly motorcycles. It seems that no matter where I stay, I am always in earshot of someone hitting something with a hammer.

O

Opticians :- I am often asked about the cost of glasses in Thailand, well frames are cheap, but overall testing is sadly inadequate. I have had eve tests in the UK which usually last 15 - 20 minutes, in Bangkok 5 minutes seems a long time, and the lenses are ALWAYS in stock.
I have to suggest that the desire to sell you a pair of glasses is more important than accurate testing. Buy your frames at discount prices (including "Memoflex") and get your lenses at home.

Overstay see Visa

OTOP :- Not sure whose brainchild this name was, but it is an acronym that stands for One Tambon, One Product, I had to look up what a Tambon was, apparently it's a sub district.
It is a government sponsored initiative to promote the sale of traditional crafts and products to bring money to poor villagers etc. Read all about it on their website HERE

P

Passports :- By law, you are required to carry your original passport with you at all times. In practice, I don't know anyone who does.
Some people carry a photocopy of the information page, but I doubt if that would be of any use if you were challenged to produce it, but very useful for the information that is required to fill in a VAT refund form.
Since 1986 I have only ever been asked for my passport once, as I was unable to produce it, the motorcycle I was riding was seized and held until I produced it at the local Police station. This was just a routine matter and presented no problems and no fine, apart from having to get to and from my apartment with no transport!

Patpong :- The famous area of go-go bars etc. that can be found on 2 small parallel private streets running between Suriwong Road and Silom Road in the main business district of the city, Patpong 1 and Patpong 2 Roads).
As this place is featured in guide books, it draws gullible tourists every night, and also, to some extent, the dregs of Thai society, well those who aren't already trying to rip people off in Pattaya and Phuket that is.
In the 80s and 90s, every shop unit both downstairs and up, was a go-go bar, now most are shops selling overpriced tourist trinkets, it is a mere shadow of its former self, possibly an improvement though.
Expect to pay top prices in the street market unless you barter heavily, 50% from the starting price is a good guide.
In the bars and clubs expect to get your bill padded a bit, and be particularly careful in any establishment that is upstairs or behind locked doors, or without a prominent name sign.
When inside, take good care of your wallet and any other possessions, better still, take a look at Patpong to get it out of your system, then go to Nana Plaza or Soi Cowboy where the same thing exists but without the scams and problems.
Read more HERE
Sala Daeng Skytrain station.     Silom Subway Station

Over the years Patpong has attracted many celebrities, Sylvester Stallone, Robin Williams, Chrissie Hynde (well she made it as far as Kentucky Fried Chicken just outside, for a protest, at least), David Bowie (claimed to be where he found his "China Girl"), Magenta Divine, Debbie Harry, Samantha Fox, Gloria Estefan's mother, Eric Clapton, Paul Young, and all the top world ranking snooker stars to name but a few.

Pay Bar :- see Bar Fine

Pedestrian Crossings :- See Zebra Crossings

Personal Guide :- Several companies provide this service for tourists, quite often you will get a student who is learning English. This is a good way to see things as Thais are very proud of their country and are gratified that you have come to share it with them, if only all foreigners were the same. Look for personal guides in the classified section of the Bangkok Post or The Nation newspapers, but if the company is also offering visiting massage, be prepared for a "guide" who is going to offer extra services. Some taxi drivers welcome the chance of showing you round, but it is hard to avoid being taken to places offering them a bounty on each tourist they bring, so possibly not a good idea if you don't know the score in Thailand.

Pharmacies :- Bangkok has thousands of pharmacies that will sell you controlled drugs, no, not THAT sort of controlled drug, but prescription drugs without a prescription. Just tell them your symptoms and they usually have the right things at bargain prices. Viagra over the counter if you suffer from that particular problem, Propecia for hair loss etc.
I get many emails asking about Viagra, people seem surprisingly honest about this intimate problem. The answer to "Can I get it over the counter?" is, only if you take at least 3 tablets!

Phones :- See Telephones

Photography :- For those of you that still use film, it is VERY easy to get it developed and printed, usually in about 20 minutes, so go and get a cup of coffee and they're done when you come back. APS film takes a little longer, sometimes 24 hours as it has to be sent away.
Digital prints can be made onto photographic paper at almost all developing shops and there are even some self service machines appearing where you can plug in your memory, any format, crop, enhance, and adjust your pictures - then print them out on proper photographic paper for around 10 Baht each, or less.

Pilot's Licence :- Yes, you can study for a Private Pilot's Licence, although I can't comment on its validity outside the Kingdom, perhaps someone in the know can tell me..............  Here is where to look Royal Group

Playstation :- A massive amount of Sony Playstation 1 & 2 software is available for around 20-30 Baht per CD. Expect the very latest games to be in Japanese though, plus you will need a "chipped" unit to play them. MBK Centre is the place to find the largest selection.

Ploenchit Fair :- On the last Saturday of November a huge party/fair/extravaganza is held in aid of charity. Traditionally, this was in the grounds of the British Embassy, but fear of terrorist attack forced cancellation in 2002. In 2003 & 2004 a new site was found at Suan Luang, and from 2005 the fair was again relocated to a far better venue at BEC Tero Hall within the Night Bazaar grounds. ALL the businesses donate the goods, and ALL the proceeds are for charity. The various raffles are particularly good with prizes such as return business class tickets on British Airways, Emirates etc.
Website HERE

Police :- The best police force money can buy See Corruption
My advice is - don't get involved, you will lose more likely than not. If you do have a problem that needs this kind of intervention, YOU call The Tourist Police on 1155, that's the complete number and it's only good in Bangkok.
The Tourist Police is/are a special force set up to assist tourists and they have specially trained officers who speak English. My sincere suggestion is that you communicate only through the Tourist Police, who will usually take your side in any dispute, and act on your behalf. Don't worry, that is what they are there for. This may be the best advice you ever get.

Pricing :- See Two Tier Pricing

Property (Real Estate) :- Whilst many people will tell you that a foreigner can buy property in Thailand, this is technically true, but owning it is another matter. There are those who have successfully bought and sold property, but your purchaser has to really be from the expat community. For every one person that has sold without loss, or even with a profit, there are more than 10 who have lost. Some paying deposits for projects that never start! 40% of a condominium block can be in foreign ownership, but even here there are insurmountable scams and problems associated with the maintenance charges for common areas. Thais are renowned for not paying, leaving the foreigners to pay increased proportions if they want the lift and swimming pool working. Renting is very cheap, and this is by far the best option, as massive discounts are to be had for any period of over 3 months. My advice, from the time honoured "trial and error" principle, is to rent and keep the capital you would have otherwise spent safely in an interest bearing bank account!
If you are still tempted to buy a condominium unit, read the Thai Condominium Law HERE

Prostitution :- Prostitution is illegal in Thailand, but their definition is somewhat different than ours in the West.
Massage parlours provide sex if you want it. The private contract is between you and a bar girl or go-go dancer and it's strictly that, a private contract. Prostitution in Thai terms is when a father or family